Thank you for those of you who have encouraged me to keep writing. If there was ever a year for me to keep a record then 2012 is likely to be it!
It has started wildly for me as I am currently sitting at the top of Fradley lock flight waiting for the storm force winds and accompanying rain and hail to die down. My black tank (where the toilet contents end up) is full and I need to travel to Kings Bromley marina to have it pumped out and to take on diesel. I have today and tomorrow to get there and back before going back to work for 4 days. If I don’t pump out now then I will be going au naturelle (as a bear in the woods) before long!!
I look to the coming year with a mixture of high excitement and some trepidation. My work bores the soul out of me but it does provide a steady income and when the shop closes I will have no income – for the first time in my life. However, thanks to my step mother I have funds, and the idea of taking off round the system, going and stopping where I like, for as long as I like clenches my guts with excitement. I am also really looking forward to being able to visit friends in Devon and in other places without feeling I am losing valuable cruising time!!
I expect to know myself better by the end of the year. It is all very well fantasizing about having all the time in the world, but can be a challenging reality. Without busyness, it is much harder to hide from yourself and from the void yawning at all our feet. I hope to be able to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and to overcome my fear of the emptiness of reality and the closeness of death. (Not that I expect to die any time soon, but you never know and a wise author told me to make friends with the reality of my death).
I hope that 2012 will be fulfilling, joyful and challenging for you too!
1 comment:
You are so right about not being able to hid from yourself when there is no busyness. This job I have is so quiet I spend about 5-6 hours of my 7 hour day doing nothing! It drives me mad. I loved it at first. I revelled in the time and space but now I find it really hard. I long for company. My poor sister is at the opposite extreme with 3 kids (one only 16 months) and is 7 months pregnant too. She has no time at all to herself. Our situations are so different but equally tough in different ways.
I hope your travels help you. Sitting with the difficult feelings is hard work but so worth it in the long run. I am beginning to know myself more now!
The best of British to you Mandy this year!
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